Leprechaun Madness

The most atrocious and predatory looking leprechauns. Ever.

Today the second grade did our annual leprechaun "art" project (I employ the conceit of quotations marks because it is NOT art, it is a craft, the goal being not the mastery of artistic elements nor self expression but the creation of identical paper plate leprechauns). Now, in the best of times, it isn't my favorite, but as the other teachers have graciously adopted some of my complex and quirky art ideas and we display them all together in the hallway, I cooperate. I even tell the kids, hey this isn't my favorite but I cooperate because it's important to compromise and get along. I'm so sure that little bit of didacticism will totally change their lives, aren't you?

I tried step by step. I tried using cutting stations and gluing stations. I tried threatening them with loss of free time. I tried actually taking away free time. They just turned on each other like rabid lemurs and got even louder. Although I'm not well versed enough in lemur socialization patterns to suggest that the furry little dudes would be quite as vicious to one another (or some poor elder lemur who foolishly volunteered for supervisory duty over them) as these kiddos were.

I even yelled.

That's it! I said. "NO BEARDS. Your leprechauns wll be BALD becuase you wouldn't listen."

Picture aghast silence as though the loss of orange paper beards was actually devestating. Here I thought real consequences were the way to go when clearly I should take away their paper facial hair? They were penitent. They begged, they bargained...they turned blame on each other and ran around the room chaotically. Then the school social worker came in to teach them social skills bless her kind and altruistic heart.

Even she proclaimed, "I don't know what in the name of the good Lord you can do with them!"
I asked her to think seriously about it because I am more than willing to implement any reasonable behavior plan.

Because, really, I can't always take away their beards.