I own that.

One of my dearest friends built a house a few years ago. She has told me that she cried a lot during the process. I assumed this was because she was also going through a divorce at the time.

I was wrong.

Today I started crying over a faucet. The one I bought won't work because even though it said "wall mount" it was intended for a clawfoot tub not a corner tub. So I embraced the frustration and sadness and stomped around and burst into tears.

This is not real stress. I know it. I'm not dealing with a terminal illness or extreme poverty or living in a military state or being disenfranchised. My damn faucet doesn't fit and it *bothers* me in a way that makes me feel extremely shallow.  I tried counting my blessings but I'm still pissed off. I will fix this. I never met a problem yet I couldn't deal with even if it sucks.

Which reminds me. When I told a coworker I had the kids alphabetize their valentine cards and pass them out into a row of alphabetized mailboxes, she said, "You are just a mean bitch." Now she was joking because a parent told me that this year but I responded, "Yeah. And I'm tired of whining about everyone thinking I'm mean. I'll own it. I'm a mean bitch."

There was a lot of whimpering on my part when a total of three parents and another teacher have all told me in one way or other this year that I'm strict, mean, or a hard ass. I prefer to think of it as high expectations. I may be a bitch but I'm not mean. I'm demanding. Very demanding, in fact. 

But I make sure to be kind, to remember that my kids are people who have lives and preferences and problems at home. And i try damn hard to make them strong and independent and creative. These are skills they will need especially if they come from a less than nurturing background but also if they're from a very coddling and entitled background where they get constant praise for turning oxygen into carbon dioxide. When they do progress, improve or make an effort, they get positive attention and to be a helper...that exalted state of being singled out to be of greater use to the group. I don't go around giving stickers and lollipops for sitting in a chair or holding a pencil. So yes, I am a bitch. And I believe truly that my kids and my own child will be better for it...not polite and silent automatons but resilient and confident individuals who know their worth and potential. 

So this bitch wishes you a good weekend.